In need of grace...

It's easy for me to pray for Sophia, to remember the pain in her eyes and be motivated to pray for her freedom and safety. Twice this week I've told her story, and both times I've cried. (Keep in mind that this in about nine months after having met her for a few brief minutes - and that I am not one who cries easily.)

Do you know what's hard for me? Finding any motivation at all to pray for her pimp. When I try to, I talk myself out of it by saying that the one ripped Sophia away from her family and country and now forces her sell her body does not deserve my prayers. Her pimp is a bad person - a sinful, selfish person.

But so am I.

Henri Nouwen puts it, "In the face of the opressed I recognize my own face, and in the hands of the oppressor I recognize my own hands. Their flesh is my flesh, their blood is my blood, their pain is my pain, their smile is my smile."

Sophia's pimp and I are both sinful, selfish people in need of grace. God has extended that grace to us - to all of us - freely.

So who am I to decide who 'deserves' my prayers and who doesn't?

But I have to be honest: I'm not 100% there yet. Pray with me that I will be able to pray for Sophia's pimp, that I will be able to pray for him with same fervor that I pray for her - and that others pray for me.

Chosen and marked...

And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life."

I read this verse in the book of John, chapter 3. (From The Message, of course.) As a person who loves words and appreciates their power, this phrase took my breath away for a second.

...chosen and marked by my love...

In the context, God is talking to His Son, Jesus. Romans 8:17 tells us that God confirms our relationship with Him: Father and children. We are adopted into His family.

God has chosen me and marked me by His love. Such power and beauty in those words.

The good years, the bad years, and then the best years...

I was at the gym this morning, putting on my shoes as a group of women from the seniors swim class walked in. They were all in their late 60s, 70s or more, wearing one-piece swimsuits and dripping water from their permed ringlets. One of the women was celebrating her 59th wedding anniversary this week. She was obviously the queen bee as most of the other women were either approaching or had just celebrated 50 years of marriage.

They talked about party plans, who would be coming into town, what an accomplishement 59 years was, the good years, the bad years and then the best years.

I summoned up my courage to butt into their conversation to ask how you make it to 50 years of marriage. They got very silent. Then one woman in a pink flowered bathing suit looked at me and said:

"You just keep going. When it gets tough - and it will - you keep persevering. You never give up. There will be hard seasons in your marriage and you'll want to give up, but those years will make the next years even better. The honeymoon wears off, but the honeymoon wasn't really the good part. The good part comes after the hard years. The last years of my marriage have been magical - and they've made all the hard years worth it."

Your calling...

"...is the place where your deep gladness meets the world's deep need."
-- Friedrich Buechner

What is your calling?

There is hope.

The last time I wrote on this blog, it was to share Sophia's story and ask you to pray for her. Trafficking and slavery dehumanize people - and it happens daily in our backyards (Yes, yours too.)

But there is hope. And today in the city of Lyon, there is good news. A ring of traffickers prostituting women from Nigeria has been dismantled.

A 24-year-old Nigerian woman was brought to Lyon to work as a nanny - or so she was told. Instead, she was put out on the streets near Perrache (the bus station we pass every day on our way into town) and forced to work off a $77,500 'debt' her captors said she owed in expenses for bringing her to France.

The woman running the ring (yes, a woman) will be tried in French courts next November.

- Pray for justice.

- Pray for healing for the trafficked women. Pray that they will be treated fairly and with dignity by the authorities handling the case. Pray that they will be accepted back into their families.

- And thank God with me for His faithfulness. He is a God of justice and love.

What will you pray for me?

"What will you pray for me?" she asked us, one hand on her hip, standing under a tree to avoid the late night rain. "We'll pray for whatever you want, Sophia. What do you want us to pray for you?"

Sophia looked to be about 18 years old, long black braids and two small scars on her left cheek. She is from Monrovia, the capital of Liberia, West Africa. Her parents were killed in the civil war in 1999. Now, in 2010, she stands on the side of a street in a dark neighborhood of a European city.

Sophia was the ninth girl we talked with tonight. Most girls were polite and some even friendly, but Sophia wanted more. "What will you pray for me?" she asked, almost as if she were challenging us. "We'll pray for whatever you want, Sophia." I said. "What do you want us to pray for you?"

She looked at her feet, then looked into my eyes: "You pray that tonight I get out of this - that I no longer have to do this work." Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I started to pray... for her safety, for God to provide a way out tonight, for her not to have to work like this any more, for a miracle... As I prayed quickly, it was as if Sophia broke in front of us. Tears rolled down her face faster than she could wipe them away.

A car was approaching and we knew we had to move quickly. "Sophia, we will keep praying for you," we promised.

--

In the week that has passed since this night, I've really struggled with how God could bring good from such a horrible, evil situation. In my wildest imagination, I cannot wrap my head around it or produce a single good thing that could come of it.

Yesterday morning I read from Living the Message. The focus recently has been the crucifixion - not surprising, given that it's late March. This reading reminded me that in the worst moment of history, when Jesus experienced so much hostility and pain, God used it for the most beautiful - resurrection. As the text put it:

"The worst men could do became the occasion for the unbelievable best that God can do."

I am clinging to that as I pray for Sophia. Please pray with me.

Unwrapping doubt...

Unfortunately, it wasn't the first or even the second time I'd heard it. It's become far too frequent that a friend tells me that after much internal struggle and debate, often years of it, they have decided that they no longer believe in God or the saving sacrifice of Christ. Sometimes they have chosen atheism or agnosticism. Other times they say they are 'nothing' for now.

This week, I heard it from another friend.

Because of the strain this friend's questions and doubts had put on relationships with their family and friends at church, my friend chose to keep the decision largely under wraps to keep the peace. My heart hurt when my friend told me, "They haven't even asked why I haven't been to church in the last six months."

Moreover, as my friend did reveal the decision to people one on one, my friend was surprised to learn that some have actually had similar views but had kept quiet for the same reasons. In closing, my friend said, "I'm not sure what that says about the modern church in America, when a significant number of the members are secretly agnostic or atheist."

Yowzers.

What I think is the more important point though is what does it say about the modern church when its members don't feel that they can express their doubts or questions without repercussions? Who among us hasn't doubted, wobbled or wondered? I have. I'll bet you have.

Are we open and real enough with our fellow believers around us that they feel they could come to us and express doubts before twisting the decision around under wraps? Are we committed to praying for our friends who are struggling in their faith and to ask people to pray for us when we struggle?

If not... God, change me.